You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
