Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
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I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize