Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
