Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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