If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
