Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
