Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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