my vag is so smooth its legendary
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
