Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
