He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
