Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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