So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
