hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
