Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
