As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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