come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
