he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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