our cab driver is having phone sex.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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