My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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