Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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