..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you guys were way drunker than both of me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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