Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
