Cold hands, warm shart.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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