So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
