I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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