I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
