Pappa wants mamma naked
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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