im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
