ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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