All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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