I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
