i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize