Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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