fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
