I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
