hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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