The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
