it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
