I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Naked. naked and bneed help.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
