just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize