I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
