My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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