Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
