Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
