Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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