He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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