I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
