Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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