Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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