I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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