is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
