Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
