He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
