Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
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we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
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She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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