sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize