Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
