Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I love you.
Bad choice
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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