yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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