There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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