I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
