I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
