you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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