I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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