i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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